by Troy Kody Cunio
with thanks to M.C. McGinn
so there was this bear
who used to dig through my trash
for rotten strawberries and chocolate
I am all for conservation
recycling
not fucking things up for feral creatures just trying to make their way in the world
creatures not so different from myself
but I am also a responsible homeowner
the only hairy mammal allowed to spread shit all over my front yard
is me goddammit
so one day I confronted him
brandishing a rake like some kind of suburban Achilles
he growled and charged
and the hero in me evaporated
I curled into a ball like the Discovery Channel says to
he ate me
the thing about bears
is they only want to hug
all your insides out
they only want your insides
inside of theirs
there is nothing teddy or care
about a massive ursine body
built of rage and hungry muscles
for a while I inhabited his skin
together we roared at everything
there were so many maulings
I can’t remember
one day he vomited me back out
leaving bite marks on me
where only I would think to look
you can take the boy out of a carnivore
but you can’t take the carnivore out of a boy
it is so much easier to be a bear
than to survive one
nowadays I grow flowers
where the bear used to be
tulips and daisies
dandelions and posies
no roses
nothing with thorns
nothing that won’t grow wild
I pluck one whenever my fists are claws
aching to break something
like drywall
or lovers
or other small fearful animals
I wear them in my hair
to remind me of bumblebees
and how they die when they sting
and how bumblebee puke
becomes food for the bear
while he hibernates
I am making a garden of my insecurities
the bear will come back
he always comes back
the thing about bears
is they only want sweetness
but they have such sharp teeth