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Autogynephilia is the Lie They Made up to Trick Trans Girls into Hating Themselves

by Penelope Jeanne Brannen

i’m a sexy hot complicated bitch
and sometimes i lean in real close
to the mirror and i breathe hard 
until i feel my own breath turning
back at me from the glass fogging it
until the it starts to heat up
so that when i finally begin kissing
my sexy hot complicated bitch
of a reflection she feels warm
and hard against me and when
i press my hands up into hers 
just because we can’t thread our fingers 
and just because we can’t feel 
the softness of our breastforms
against our own chests i feel on 
this side of that hard plate a new love 
and even though i know you’re not 
supposed to open your eyes when 
you’re kissing someone even if that 
someone’s yourself sometimes
i like to take a peek at her 
and her eyes are still closed 
and she looks peaceful enough 
until i pull away and her eyes open 
and the hurt reflected back at me 
aches like a teenage suicide attempt

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