by Dynas Johnson
all these little fires bubbling in my throat.
holographic. plasma straight through my veins.
homeward highways into the burning center of it
all: I miss every summer I only dreamed. too many
colors to give names to. I pull the yarn bundle
by bundle. it piles in my lap like a series of frog
songs. the night’s still deep but it’ll take every
night from now til forever to granny square
everything inside me. rows and rows of crochet
ribboning and expanding into blankets what’s larger
than a blanket? an ocean set aflame.
replacing friends with sugar. no—not replacing.
substituting. the delicate and threadbare art
of compensation. sugar comforts me when I call but
don’t get an answer. I swim in milk tea. the bubbles
bob in stomach acid. sweet dose of maybe
next time. I borrow new retro aesthetics to give
my dependency fresh colors. it’s after work and
I’ve called my friend to ask if she wants to meet
me. I’ve texted her earlier today and she said
maybe. now it’s not this time. maybe
next time. I’ll go to Chinatown again to get milk tea
and a slice of something I can swoon over.
maladaptive daydreams never evaporate
completely. even now after giving up
my imaginary friends and anime lovers I graph
choreographed scenes over memories: I’m in a diner
in some pretty neighborhood in
Philadelphia. there’s neon signs shaped like ice
cream and milkshakes lighting up the windows.
I’m in a pastel blue babydoll dress. every friend I
love sits across from me sharing cheese fries and
onion rings. we talk about childhood cartoons
and laugh at 6-year-old vines. we exchange dreams
and bloom hope. I photograph their smiles and
store them behind my eyes forever. anemoia
while watching the sky melt new colors.
Dynas Johnson is a poet, jewelry hobbyist, and lover of adorable subculture fashions. She has been recently published in Peach Mag, Honey Literary, FreezeRay Poetry, The Giving Room Review, and Superfroot. Dynas’s micro-chap, “living in august”, was published as a part of Ghost City Press’s Summer Series in 2021. Inspired by J-fashion, American 80s sound and aesthetics, nature, and her imagination, Dynas is collecting beads and making her own jewelry as a hobby. You can find her occasionally on Twitter @Dynasthepoet and more often on Instagram @rabbitw.pearlearring.