Broke Girl Purples

by Melissa Ferrer &

purple because it is blue and red
put together and blue is sad
but blue is also expansive
and everywhere. especially when i
look up. and it is freeing then, looking
up and sometimes, even, looking
across the ocean. red because.
because sometimes i be mad and sometimes
i be in love.
so in love that i’ve lost all fear
of annihilation and now all i can think
about is dying in the best ways:
like laughing, with my friends, not caring
who i am today. laughing because
i have the time to. and am not stretching
or reaching or racing or grasping or weighing down
my patience, or capacity for care,
with capitalism. and there is no chain
from some imaginary above yanking
me away from being here,
in this coffee shop
with my friends,
grinding. broke girl purples
because today i am sitting in my sovereignty
cultivating the land of my life
which i’m finding to be fertile ground
and despite not having coin to keep me afloat
i am still somehow walking on water. despite
not having a nest egg
i still have a home. purple because
sometimes i get bruised, but i’m never used up,
even though my skin is brown, purple
because slavery is a nightmare i’m waking up from
and supremacy can’t enter the gates of our relation
so this is everyone’s kingdom. the kingdom of those I love.
broke girl because of how often i let my heart break
from all its bursting. broke girl because
these cracks and holes and chunks missing in me
been letting in the light.

Melissa Ferrer & (she/they) is a multidisciplinary artist, poet, educator, organizer and friend living in Kansas City, MO. She lives chanting hallelujah into the liminal spaces of life. She is a Poetry MFA Candidate at Randolph College. Her work can be found in Fahmidan Journal, ZinDaily, Zoetic Press and elsewhere. She was long listed for the 2021 Palette Poetry Emerging Poet Prize. She is a lover of Asian dramas, rapture, and you. Find out more: www.melissaferrerand.com

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