Horror Movie Haikus

by Keegan Steele

THE FLY

A penetration
Beyond the veil of the flesh
Buzz, buzz, Jeff Goldblum

DAWN OF THE DEAD

They are not your friends
They must be destroyed on sight
No more room in hell

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Throw the map away
Hear somebody cackling
Stand in the corner

THE SHINING

Here’s an idea:
You should kill you wife and son
You always been here

THE EXORCIST

Green vomit porno
Girl-on-crucifix action
Hey, Captain Howdy

CUJO

Is that Beethoven?
No, I don’t think it’s Beethoven
But maybe it is

THE THING

Kurt Russell’s not dead
Kurt Russell grabs the flamethrower
It was that other guy

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