Hate Song

I come plummeting / smoldering / into the hate song / the hate song / is rising / past all lies / all crossed lines / all memories pledged / to hate / and I say to you / bring all the pain / that moves me forward / as my anger / makes itself known / unfolding / and yes / you’ve no idea / how deep this feeling goes / nor how proud / that used to make me / and yes / I may step too close / and yes / I’ve spent most my life / imagining each way / I could mutilate / the man who molded / my family / in the reflection / of his hate / and yes / I want a great deal / and I hate myself for all of this / as I find another dead end / as I find myself / walking into a wall face first / again / back into the hate song / and I take / another drag / and become the smoke / in my lungs / as I try to halt an image / as now a door slams shut / and a man approaches / inside my head / and I’m his son / and I’m young again / inside the hate song / and I take / another hand / to my face / to my groin / and I just can’t win / inside the hate song / the hate song / is my father’s raised / voice / his doctor’s searching hands / beneath my feet / as beneath my feet / I hear / my mother’s silence / as the hate song carries on / knocking you aside / baring teeth / as the hate song / carries me on its shoulders / like a wounded creature / like I need it / like the hate song / and I fall deeper / into its asthma / into its humidity / like the South / and its hurricanes / and fire ants / and fevered tornado fury / as even the earth admits / its hate song / with every warped tree / hurled through a building / and me / just wanting now / to be the tree / as again / I find a new focus / as I see all that persists / and contradicts / within the hate song / the hate song / is asking you / this one thing: / please / don’t leave me here / inside the hate song